It's Christmas time, mistletoe and wine...

...children singing Christian rhyme. Or Megan, Rachel and Jayne salsa dancing with Nadia. Which is largely the same thing, I reckon.

About a week and a half ago (I'm not exactly sure of the dates), it was Christmas time at 20 Sussex Road. Sadly we roll a little behind the times, but it was fantabulous to stretch the wonders of the holiday season well into January.

Having celebrated the birthday of a certain Mrs. MFA Carrot in the last week of term, it was deemed that to avoid stealing the thunder of said personage, we would postpone our celebration of all things merry and delightful. Which was duly done. (It also provided a very necessary opportunity for certain unnamed, disorganised people to actually do the purchasing of Christmas pressies!)

In life, it seems to me, that there are some kinds of gifts that are better than all of the others. Of course amongst these are the gifts of love, joy, peace, patience... (see Galatians 5 for full details of last years anniversary card). But putting aside all things holy, I really like toys. And when I say I really like toys, I REALLY like toys. So as far as Christmas is concerned, all things stocking-related provide hours of entertainment. (Any donations to the retirement fund for the inhabitants of 20 Sussex Road are always appreciated...) And as we are poor, financially-challenged students, we took the Father Christmas route for our gifts for each other.

In case you are confused as to what this really means, I AM Father Christmas. Bringing peace and goodwill to all men (or was that the angels? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not one of those...) Anyway, I jiggled my belly and wiggled my nose for all (as did Megan and Jayne), and stocking presents appeared! We had a spectacular time, and ate turkey mole and spiced pound cake. For those who might be a little concerned, no moles were harmed in the filming of this programme. Of course my stocking was the bestest of the shopping complex, and included pirate candles, bubble gum that insults you in Shakespearian language, and all sorts of other wonderful surprises. Jayne got a dance with Nadia DVD, from which we were able to ascertain that although we are not very good at salsa dancing, neither is Nadia, which is a considerable encouragement.

As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared, and we read the gospel according to Luke; we spent a wonderful evening together amidst fun, merriment and a loaf of cake with no legs. And a reasonable amount of raucous laughter.

Attached are a couple of photographs of our dastardly adventures and superfluous 'scapades; please take particular note of the Christmas tree fashioned from cardboard toilet roll tubes. Which had not been in the fridge.

I feel a terrifying attack of the waffle coming over me, but am reluctant to fetcher la vache until I have told the story of the CELEBRITY GUESTS who came over for lunch today. We were joined by none other than David and Jono of the Graveshifters show (University Radio York), of particular fame amongst the members of Vanbrugh CU for their Bible study-leading, toasty-making skills. In our very own house.

It might be the case that David and Jono have something of the Feathers about them, but we had a minor food crisis. It seems that although 5 loaves and two fish can feed 5,000, 36 sausages and half a bag of potatoes are not sufficient for 5 hungry students. A very mysterious thing happened. I have cooked sausages many times in my life before, and never have I been met with such a strange occurrence. Yes, when you cook them they shrink, but these sausages were so enthusiastic in their shrinkage--almost to the point of aggression--that when we took them out of the oven they were the size of cocktail sausages.

We did what any sane person would do in this situation: we ate a lot of cake. A LOT of cake. And once again, cake and custard saved the day. And I will forever be of the opinion that there are few things in life better than chocolate cake and Articulate in the same afternoon. Which I would like to point out was won by the girls. Due to their superior knowledge of bird life (in particular Chaffinches).

And now it is time for me to go and combat the mighty and evil forces of the claminator. That is all.